What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
