he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
