just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
