Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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