i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
sarcasm needs its own font
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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