just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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