Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
