I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
