i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
