Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
