12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
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