I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
