my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
