is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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