508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
