I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
