i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
