somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
