I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
