Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
