D3 body, D1 cock
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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