Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My vagina just clenched in fear
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
