my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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