So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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