he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
