I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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