I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
