haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This is the high leading the old right now
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
