I hate your face
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
