adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
