He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
