I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
