Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
