no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
