I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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