I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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