its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
