My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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