apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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