but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's never too late to be topless.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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