walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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