Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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