Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
