we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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