have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
