Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
