i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
