he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
