i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
