he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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