so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
