I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
tell me about the fingering
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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