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had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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