1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
